Excerpt from Chapter 11: Purpose

In the office, the secretary took one look at me and said, “Just go on back. The principal would like to speak with you.”

I felt as though I was walking in to a firing squad. But when I opened the door, the principal stood up with a big smile. “Congratulations, young man. Your mother just had her baby! She wants you and your brother to go see her right after school.”

I dropped onto one of the chairs across her desk. I was happy for my mom, but as I looked out the window, I wondered, What’s going to happen now? How are we going to make it on the streets, in a motel, or staying with friends now that we have a newborn in the family?

When school ended, my brother and I walked together to the hospital, which was on the same road as the motel. By then, I was just eager to make sure my mother and the baby were okay.

“Come on, Darrell, hurry up,” I said, pulling on his arm.

“I still can’t believe Ma had another baby!” Darrell replied as he picked up his pace. The excitement in his voice matched my own, even if mine was tempered by fear.

At the hospital, we rushed upstairs to the maternity ward to find our mother’s room. I got more nervous the closer we got. What if something had gone wrong and no one had told us? As I opened the door, I saw my mother sleeping. Right next to her, in a portable hospital crib, a tiny little baby also slept, tightly swaddled. Since we had little family, the room was sterile and dressed with just standard hospital fixings. Darrell and I did not have money to brighten the space with flowers, plants, or balloons, but we lit it up as much as we could with our presence.

I walked up to the bed, putting my hand on my mother’s shoulder. “Hey, Ma, it’s me, Douglas. How are you feeling?”

Her eyelids lifted heavily before lowering again. “Tired,” she managed. “Just tired.”

“Well, Darrell, and I are here, and we want you to get some rest,” I said.

As my mother slept, Darrell and I peered into the crib with big eyes and curious spirits. Our little sister was wrapped up in a pink blanket that my mother had purchased just before giving birth. The words my mother had spoken—“Tired, just tired”—resonated with me. They seemed to describe more than just her experience giving birth. The way she had to live her life, working hard day after day and struggling to make ends meet . . . I thought if she was tired before, the demands of a newborn just might send her overboard. I realized that I needed to help her out more, not just with my new sister Danielle, but also with all my siblings. I needed to be more of a father figure to them, even though I lacked a fatherly example in my own life.

With a sigh, my mother turned over and seemed to come around. She smiled warmly. “It is so great to see both of you,” she said. “Now, I lost a lot of blood during my delivery and will need to stay in the hospital for the next couple of days. I need you both to take the money in my pocketbook and pay off the bill for the motel room. Pack our things, and then I will need you guys to stay with one of your friends for a while until I figure out what we are going to do next.”

With her words, the roller coaster ride I had been on crested at its peak. On our creaky seat, we were just moments away from taking off faster than ever before.

“What about Derrick?” I asked. “Where will he stay once we check out of the motel?”

Reluctantly, Mom said, “When I knew I was getting close to having Danielle, I called Joe. I asked him to take care of Derrick until I could get out of the hospital. I need you to stay at the motel tonight—Joe will come by with Derrick to pick up our belongings and take them to his new place. I need you to hurry before it gets too late so you can also call one of your friends and see if you can stay with them for a while after school tomorrow.”

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